Identity Crisis
by Kelby
Summary: Some people are being replaced in RENT, and Roger, among others, is not happy about it. Reviews Welcome.


A/N Well, as I said in my last little ficlet, strange things come to mind during 4am feedings, and then they grow and fester during other middle of the night baby feedings (it's amazing what you think of during sleep deprivations!). So here is the result of that! Don't anybody take it personal, it's all meant as a joke! If you like it go ahead and review, if you don't, go ahead anyway. Criticism is good for you (to an extent).  
  
  
  
  
  
Identity Crisis  
  
  
  
"It's not funny Mark!" He said as he stormed around the loft.  
  
"Yes it is." He laughed.  
  
"No it's not!"  
  
"But you thought it was hysterical when it happened to me." Mark knew better, but couldn't resist and teased him anyway.  
  
"He does have a point Roger." Collins laughed from behind his paper on the couch.  
  
"I don't know what you two are talking about!" Roger threw himself on the couch. "I wish your mother never got you that stupid laptop."  
  
"Oh come on Rog, it's not so bad." Mark laughed.  
  
"Yes it is! I can't believe this! Why? Why me? Why him?"  
  
Mark kept laughing, he couldn't help it. He always had to laugh at Roger when he got upset like this. Well, upset and not storming out or throwing things. But when he got upset like this, Mark found it extremely amusing. For being such a tough guy, it always amused Mark when Roger got like this. He would pout like a five-year-old, which made Mark tend to talk to him like one too, which usually never helped matters, but at the moment it was really funny.  
  
"It's nothing personal Roger. It's not like it's a personal attack on you or something. He just happens to be the right person for the job right now."  
  
"No he is not the right person for the job! He's the worst person for the job! It's not fair! Everybody is gonna associate me with him!"  
  
"Oh please! Collins tell him he's acting like an over grown drama queen!"  
  
Collins lowered his paper and looked at Roger. "You're acting like an over grown drama queen." He picked his paper back up, partly to hide the grin on his face. "However I think you two are forgetting something."  
  
"What?" They both asked.  
  
"The original drama queen."  
  
"Shit!"  
  
"Ha! That's right! Maureen's not going to be too happy about this either! Neither is Mimi I bet! You just wait Mark! Wait till the girls get back and then you'll see! It's not just me! The girls are going to yell at you too!"  
  
"Yell at Mark about what Baby?" Mimi asked as she, Maureen and Joanne walked in the door from shopping.  
  
Mark looked up from his laptop. "It really is funny you guys. Really."  
  
"That waits to be seen." Collins announced from behind his paper, trying hard to stifle a laugh.  
  
"Marky what did you do?" Maureen yelled at him as she set down her shopping bags. "Hurry up and tell us so we can yell at you and get it over with. Then I can give you guys a fashion show of all the incredible new outfits I got!" She bounced over to the couch where Mimi was sitting on Roger's lap.  
  
"Um, Honeybear? You're not planning on showing them all your new outfits, are you?" Joanne asked her.  
  
"Okay, now I'm not sure I want to see anything that you bought!"  
  
"Liar!" Roger whispered into Mimi's ear, causing both of them to laugh. "But go on Mark, tell them what you did!"  
  
"First of all, I didn't do anything! I just found out about it online!"  
  
"He's right, don't kill the messenger." Collins' voice came from behind his paper.  
  
"Hey, maybe Joanne can sue them for us for um, defecation of character or something."  
  
"First of all Roger," Joanne shook her head. "It's defamation of character. And sue who? What did Mark do?"  
  
"Mark didn't do anything! Mark just happened to be playing around online and sort of found out something, that, someday we will all find really amusing!"  
  
Roger couldn't take it anymore. "Just tell them!"  
  
"Oh all right! Well, you know the play, on Broadway? The one loosely based on, well, us?"  
  
"Loosely?" Mimi said sarcastically as everyone but Mark laughed.  
  
"Okay fine, not so loosely then. Well, it turns out they are recasting a few roles."  
  
"So? Who are they recasting?" Maureen asked.  
  
"Yeah, they do that every so often. What's the big deal Baby?" Mimi asked Roger.  
  
"The big deal? Tell her what the big deal is Mark!"  
  
"Oh Roger stop pouting all ready! What the big deal is, at least as far as the big baby over there is concerned, is not who they are recasting, but who they are being recasted with." Mark looked around the group; Collins was still hiding behind his paper. Roger was glaring at him and had his lower lip jutted out so far you could land a plane on it to quote his mother from when he was like three. The girls were all anxiously waiting on him to continue.  
  
"First of all, before I tell you, let me remind you all this has happened to me twice now. And you all thought it was so damn funny both times!"  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about Mark." Maureen told him.  
  
"Gee Maureen, however could you for get the Dougie Houser, M.D. comments. They lasted weeks!"  
  
"Yeah, now that was funny!" Roger laughed before being shushed by Mimi.  
  
Mark threw him a look then continued. "And then of course there was all the fun you all had at my expense when Joey Fatone of 'NSYNC took over playing me."  
  
"I'm getting a bad feeling about this. Who's getting recasted Mark?" Mimi asked him cautiously.  
  
"You guys just have to remember that you should feel honored that these people want to play you."  
  
"Who is it?" Mimi asked Roger.  
  
"Me, you and Maureen and Collins." Roger told her.  
  
"Me!" Maureen exclaimed.  
  
"Yeah you, which is nowhere near as bad as who they're putting in for me!" Roger pouted again. "If they have to use a celebrity, why can't they use somebody good for me. Somebody like Jim Morrison of The Doors or something."  
  
"Because he's been dead for like 30 years Roger."  
  
"I said like him, not him specifically Mark!"  
  
"Relax Baby, it can't be that bad! Who is it Mark?"  
  
Mark got a slight grin. "Justin Timberlake of NSYNC."  
  
"This is just embarrassing!" Roger covered his face with his hand.  
  
Mimi tried hard not to laugh. "It's okay Baby. It could be worse."  
  
"Wait till you hear who's playing you now." Roger told her. Mimi looked to Mark and waited.  
  
"Um, Jennifer Lopez."  
  
"What!" Mimi hopped up off Roger's lap and cursed in Spanish for a moment. "They can't put her in my blue plastic pants! That's obscene! That's, that's gross! The line is best ass below 14th Street damn it! Not biggest ass below 14th Street!"  
  
"See! I told you!" Roger said pulling her back onto his lap.  
  
"Well, what about me Mark?" Maureen asked.  
  
Roger and Collins started laughing at that. "Now remember Mo, you should be flattered by this." Mark told her.  
  
Roger couldn't help it. He was laughing hard now. Finally he just blurted it out. "Britney Spears!"  
  
"What! Oh My God! Pookie can we sue them?"  
  
"No Maureen." Joanne told her threw her own laughter.  
  
"I can't believe this!" She got up and started ranting as she stomped around the room. Soon Mimi joined in, followed by Roger. As the three of them went off to another part of the loft to dwell in their embarrassment and misery, Mark got up and moved over to the couch to sit near Joanne and Collins, who had returned to his paper.  
  
"Well, at least they aren't blaming me any more. But it does serve them right, because they all picked on me a lot, especially over the 'NSYNC guy."  
  
"That's true. Don't worry, they'll get over it." Collins told him.  
  
"Hey, Roger said they were recasting you too Collins. You don't seem to be all that upset over it. Why is that? Who are they using?" Joanne asked him.  
  
"Oh he's in TV, not music. It's that detective on Law & Order. Personally, I like him. I think he'll be able to capture my character pretty well." With that he yet again went back to his newspaper.  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N Okay, this had to be done! If you ever read the Yahoo Rent groups, you would see the up roar about Joey. The whole thing stuck me a little funny, and this was the result. 


End file.
